The Late News

So experts are always blathering on about how walking burns as many calories as jogging and doesn’t get you quite as minging, so I’ve been trying to incorporate it into my days – which is not easy when your home, work, and preferred supermarket are all within a one hour radius of each other. For a city, Aberdeen is betraying pedestrians something wicked.

Anyway, with me starting university and all, I thought that the best idea to combat the inevitable spread of essay-arse would be to walk there. And how long does it take to get to Aberdeen Business School, exactly? One. Hour.

Bastards. The thing is, I’m time poor in the extreme and I only perform one function. Once I start studying again I’m going to have to pick up some part time jobs as well, to contribute the minimum £500 every month we need for rent and bills.

Still, sacrificing two hours every day to walking will have the double effect of reducing the size of my rear at the same time as ensuring I’m so poor that I won’t be able to afford food anyway. Result!