The Five-Day Famine

No, I haven’t drowned in my own lard, or a vat of Green and Black’s 70% chocolate for that matter. Life’s been rather hectic recently, for no discernable reason. It all started last Thursday when my Wii arrived, and I’ve rarely been off it since – to say nothing of the dire “bowling shoulder” I’ve managed to acquire – ON BOTH SIDES. What I never managed to achieve on paper – my ambidextrous scrawlings are illegible – I can do perfectly well whilst chucking a shiny pink ball at computer generated pins. In short, I’ve spent all my time playing computer games. Aggressively.

On the upside, my shoulders and back look slightly more defined. On the downside, they hurt like a bitch.

My Wii Fit is due any day now, which is just as well since the weather has faded to grey and horrible once more, and I’m going to need a break from the interminable boredom of the gym. Which, speaking of, I’m going to tonight. M is finally cautiously optimistic about his back having healed so we’re off for a fitness assessment (aka humiliation on a plate) as a starting point.

It’s not been a famine, unfortunately. Whilst I can’t quite figure out what we’ve actually been eating – on account of there being nothing but fruit and slightly wilted salad products in our fridge – apparently we’re well fed. Of course, it could just be an illusion from all the tea we’re drinking. I had sixteen – count them, SIXTEEN – cups on Saturday. Blame it on the writing.

I’m slowly phasing out the bad things in my diet, too. Toast for breakfast is being replaced by ridiculously extravagant muesli and fruit; lunch is perfect as salad and fruit; dinner is still basically at the mercy of the boyfriend – whose tastes run exclusively to meat and two veg - until I summon the energy to cook for myself. I’m considering returning to vegetarianism since wholewheat pasta with vegetables is cheap and nutritious, and more importantly, I don’t object to living on it (see: first year at university).

No weigh-in for me. I hopped on the scale on Saturday morning to be confronted with 246lbs, followed by 134lbs, followed by 190lbs, none of which is remotely close to my actual weight. I’m guessing the scale either needs a new battery, or it needs to be taken back.

As far as good feeling goes, I’m a lot less lethargic (also possibly due to the tea) which is nice. Maybe this time next week I’ll be able to actually get out of bed before 8am and not feel like death, at which point I can start incorporating workouts first thing. That might have to be limited to Wii Fit. I’m not sure I could handle Pump It Up! dance choonz at that time of the morning.